A Healthy Intimate Relationship
The goal in an intimate relationship is to feel calm, centered and focused. The intimacy needs to be safe, supportive, respectful, non-punitive and peaceful. You feel taken care of, wanted, unconditionally (fully) accepted and loved just for existing and being alive in a healthy intimate relationship. You feel part of something and not alone in such a relationship. You experience forgiving and being forgiven with no revenge or reminding of past offenses. You find yourself giving thanks for just being alive in this relationship. A healthy intimate relationship has a sense of directedness with plan and order as well as a sense of purpose. You experience being free to be who you are rather than who you think you need to be for the other person. This relationship makes you free from the "paralyzing of analyzing", the need to analyze every minute detail of what goes on in it. An intimate relationship has its priorities in order, with people's feelings and process of the relationship coming before things and money. A healthy intimate relationship encourages your personal growth and supports your individuality (both male & female). This relationship does not result in you or your relationship partner becoming emotionally, physically or intellectually dependent on one another. An intimate relationship encourages the spiritual growth of both relationship partners and makes room for God in the relationship as a partner and friend.
If you need to improve the intimacy in your relationship, most likely what keeps you from having healthy intimacy with others is your own or your relationship partners' inability to establish and maintain healthy boundaries with one another. Relationship partners who are not able to establish healthy intimate relationship, will run the risk of not being able to establish a healthy sexually intimate relationship with each other. Ask yourself these questions about your intimate relationship:
· Do we have good times together, but fail at being emotionally, spiritually and physically intimate?
· Do we have an openly affectionate relationship with healthy emotionally based communication or do we just do things together, with no communication or affection giving?
Most women mistake having sex for intimacy. Although having sex is an intimate act, it is in most cases lacking intimacy. To be intimate you have to know the other person. To have sex with someone, knowing them is not necessarly a requirement. We as women have "sold our soul" for generations on the mistaken notion that by having sex with a man we are being intimate. That he is being intimate and caring with us, when for the most parts it is just a physical (sex) act.
If you need to improve the intimacy in your relationship, most likely what keeps you from having healthy intimacy with others is your own or your relationship partners' inability to establish and maintain healthy boundaries with one another. Relationship partners who are not able to establish healthy intimate relationship, will run the risk of not being able to establish a healthy sexually intimate relationship with each other. Ask yourself these questions about your intimate relationship:
· Do we have good times together, but fail at being emotionally, spiritually and physically intimate?
· Do we have an openly affectionate relationship with healthy emotionally based communication or do we just do things together, with no communication or affection giving?
Most women mistake having sex for intimacy. Although having sex is an intimate act, it is in most cases lacking intimacy. To be intimate you have to know the other person. To have sex with someone, knowing them is not necessarly a requirement. We as women have "sold our soul" for generations on the mistaken notion that by having sex with a man we are being intimate. That he is being intimate and caring with us, when for the most parts it is just a physical (sex) act.
posted by Dr. Minnie at 2:54 PM
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